We sometimes get mistaken that we will be happy after achieving a certain goal; whether it is winning a game, championship, receiving a promotion or closing a sale. This seems logical but when we look at the research it is not the case. In a review of 225 studies on happiness and success, researchers found happy individuals are predisposed to seek out and undertake new goals in life, which often brings them more happiness as well as success in many aspects of their lives. Yes we experience an initial jolt of happiness when we experience these things but it is not long lasting. Usually we return to the level of happiness a week or two after achieving our goals. The research indicates that we have to find ways to be happy with how our life is currently and it will propel us to achieve the goals we seek at a higher rate. So how do we do this if we are on a team, coach, in politics or a parent?
It all starts with finding happiness first within ourselves. We all do something great in our lives. The problem is that we mainly focus on the negatives that we want to fix. It is completely normal. In our primitive days as a species we had to look for negative signs in our environment so we could stay alive. Thousands of years later we cannot shake our habit of doing so but we can focus on more positive things that will enhance our lives and success.
The first thing we can do is to pray or meditate for five minutes a day. By doing this we silence our minds and let it function at its best for the rest of the day. With all the distractions in this world, it is hard to focus on what is really important. When you silence all the noise from your life and just stay in silence, our minds can relax thus getting the rest of our bodies to relax. This has been proven to improve our brain function along with our happiness. This causes our brains to function better which allows us to perform our best on the field, in the classroom or wherever we need to be our best.
Next we can keep a gratitude journal. We can write two to three things every day that we are grateful for. We can do this twice a day. In his book “What Happy People Know” Dan Baker argues that you cannot be grateful and fearful or stressed at the same time. When we are stressed we do not make our best decisions. Reminding ourselves of victories we had throughout the day or in similar situations will give us confidence that we can do it again in a game or a critical point in our careers.
The last thing we recommend is eliminating complaining, whining, criticizing and making excuses from your behavior. This only causes us to be in a stressful mood and operate out of fear rather than living to our highest capabilities. The best example of this was how John Wooden, Dean Smith and Pete Carroll have used this philosophy to help create successful teams. Wooden won more championships than any other coach in NCAA men’s basketball history. Dean Smith had a successful coaching career that lasted over 35 years and Pete Carroll has put together a defense that has been number one in the NFL for five straight years, a feat that has never been accomplished. Bad things have happened to all these coaches and their teams but they stayed focus on how they can fix it rather than be crippled by negative situations or outcomes of games.
When you are able to do all these things, you will see how great things are going for you. In this place, you will be happy and the affect is contagious. The people we come in to contact with daily will notice and it will raise the level of happiness in them and the people they come into contact with. On average we can affect 1000 people per day just by the regular interactions we have with the people we do now, whether it is our sports teams, family or co-workers. We owe it to everyone we know to bring the best out of them. We either can operate out of fear or love, why not operate out of love because the research is clear. It is better for our teams, relationships, business, family, work, community, our country, winning, happiness, profits, relationships and so on. It just comes down to what we chose to do and practice. Contact us now if you would like to perform at your best!
Sincerely,
Donny Mateaki
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